So THAT’S Where They’ve Been Hiding!

Last week, I wrote a post for the fellas, giving them a direct map to where all the good women have been hiding. Since then, I’ve been asking men where they like to hang out because my friends and I are OBVIOUSLY looking in the wrong places. Like I thought, “at my boy’s crib” was the number one answer. I also got a few good tips that involve public places and DON’T involve video games. I’ve compiled the data, figured out how to make it work and, as promised, this one is for the ladies!

The Barber Shop You know that nappy head ass little boy that’s always throwing rocks at your garage? Do his mama a favor and offer to take him to get a hair cut. Ask a male friend for a recommendation and make an appointment. I’ve been told some barber shops have nail technicians and if not, you can always get some work done. Vary his appointment to see what other days of the week have to offer. Once you’ve checked out the scene, keep a standing biweekly appointment with your favorite neighborhood hoodlum. Not only are you mentoring a youth, you’re getting an eye full of man candy fresh out the barber’s chair. You’ll be impressive because you’re A) Probably the only chick in the entire shop B) You’re so dedicated to the young lad and C) You’re not paying the men in the shop any attention. You read that correctly! If you’re there looking desperate, they’ll know you’re up to something. Play it cool. **ICE COLD** Be there for your young friend, not the cute customers. Bring a book…someone will bother ask you about what you’re reading. Casually strike up a conversation about whatever sport season you’re in, and if you’re not sure, don’t pretend you know what you’re talking about. Pretty soon, you’ll be like one of the guys, and that’s when you make your move.

Flag football, soccer, softball **insert team sport** So apparently men like sports. Yeah, I know, right?!?! Whoda thunk it?! Where there are sports, there are men. And where there are men…well, you get the point. Even if you’re not very athletic, ie., you trip over your own two feet, you can practice. Or if you’re adverse to physical activity, be a spectator and watch your friends play. Cheerlead, bring Gatorade, or just provide transportation to the post-game bar. I was not the most athletic girl in gym class – the other volleyball team would sit down when it was my turn to serve – but apparently it’s not about your skill level, it’s all about the fun. After watching that episode of The Boondocks, I’ve decided kickball is my sport and will be joining a team this fall. Ask around, the city is crawling with co-ed team sports and they’d be happy to have you.

Right in front of your nose Women often shoot good men down because they’re missing a single component of that “package” we’ve put together in our brains. We make a list of criteria and if a man doesn’t fit every single last one of them, we shoot them down. He’s not tall enough, he doesn’t give me goosebumps, my car is nicer than his, I make more than him (and not much more), he’s an Alpha, I only date Kappas. His nose is big, he has small hands, blah blah blah. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having standards, as a matter of fact, I applaud them (See Do You Want A Cookie). What is so very wrong is when your standards are unattainable criteria that you cling so tightly to, NO man is good enough for you. You keep on holding out for a man who gets a check for every item on your list and you’ll be single FOREVER. Finding a boyfriend isn’t like going to Target; you’re not going to find everything you want. The guy you keep bumping into at Borders may not be the most handsome guy in the bookstore, but he’s not there because he shares your love for Zane (Men don’t go to Borders). I’m absolutely crazy about a guy who’s been RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE for almost two years (and that is all I’m about to share about that). My point is, and I always have one, that while your list may have everything you desire from a mate, half of that crap you really don’t need. Are you sure you’re gonna turn down a potential Mr. Right because he doesn’t have dreads and dreads are a MUST HAVE? Rank your list from most to least important and if a man has those top five, he has potential.

That was easier than I thought! Before anyone questions whether any of these ideas work, I must say I can only attest to the last two. That barber shop trick is a new one and should probably be attempted only be a skilled extrovert. I may try it over the summer and let you ladies know how it works. Some other places men clued me in on are: the golf course, the gym, men’s sections of department stores, sports bars during a big game/fight (all football games are big games, fyi), and jogging in the park (do this one with a buddy, he could be running towards you to try something shady). I hope this helps Ladies! Good luck and happy hunting!

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