Lebron is a BITCH

Lebron James is a bitch for three reasons:

1. Bootleg Press Conference – No one else in the history of earth needs a fucking press conference to switch employers, especially one that lasts an entire hour and didn’t include a banner dropping, balloons and confetti, or Will Smith rapping Welcome to Miami with a slew of Salsa dancers in those shimmy skirts. He didn’t even have on a suit!! When I used to dress like a boy, I swear I had that same shirt in blue. I wanted fireworks and all I got were those little white pop things you throw on the ground.

2. Basketball ain’t that important – I won’t compare yesterday’s “Decision” to other newsworthy events of much greater importance, but I’ve been sitting on the edge of my seat wondering if Chicago Public Schools was going to pass a budget that would allow me to have less than 35 students in my first grade classroom. Lebron grew up in the projects and if he wanted to, he could have used his hour in the spotlight to address real concerns in his old community, not where he would be working next. There’s just a whole lot of shit going on in this world and basketball ain’t that important.

3. He interrupted my trivia – What the FUCK!!!!! He messed up my groove!!! What the FUCK!!!!! We were in the middle of my weekly trivia game when the music went off and trivia stopped. I looked up to see the plaid shirt and hear mumbling. I have no clue what was being said. I didn’t even hear when he said Miami. All I cared was that MY TRIVIA GAME WAS BEING INTERRUPTED!!!!!

And that is why, Lebron James, you are a BITCH!!!!!!

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