MIMS had the right idea, horrible execution. Bragging about one’s hotness requires a basis for said bravado. I’m unfamiliar with his life prior to releasing “This is Why I’m Hot” so perhaps he really was hot in his neck of the woods. “I’m hot cuz I’m fly” just really isn’t a reason and you’d expect the chorus to provide some insight into his hotness. I can’t blame him for trying though, he just needed a mini-lesson in explaining his heat to others. I give mini-lessons for a living…so I guess it’s up to me to show him how it’s done. This is why I’m hot:
My hotness isn’t based on the unhotness of others
I turned 30 last year and told all my friends: “You bitches better dress up!” I’m not a fan of women who surround themselves with unattractive people to make themselves look better. This is different than choosing your friends because they’re attractive, which is just as bad as choosing ugly ones. My friends are gorgeous and not just because of what they look like, but because of how beautiful they are inside. So when I told those bitches to look good, they dressed up in their hottest dresses because to me, it’s not hot to look like a diva when everyone else looks they’re about to go bowling.
My daughter is a mini-me
She’s smart, funny, charismatic and people like her. She’s a bit of a brat and has a smart mouth, in essence, she’s me in a four-year old body. It may be vain of me, but I’m hot and I don’t give a damn what you think. Cinda is a reflection of me, and every time she does something fabulous, I think to myself, “Damn! I did that!” Of course, I have a little help from a lot of people (as most single mothers should) but I do the bulk of the work and that precocious angel is mostly my doing. My mission to leave the world a better place than when I entered rests on the shoulders of my labor of love. She can read not only because I’ve taught her to, but because I instilled a love of learning in her. She’s inquisitive not only because there are things she wants to know, but because I encourage her curiosity. Cinda has a vast vocabulary not only because she likes to talk, but also because I love to talk to her. She is my creation and although I don’t do everything I should (that bedtime thing is for the birds), I try to be the best mother I could possibly be. I’m Cindasmommy, for goodness sakes.
I use my geniusness for good not evil
My IQ is high. Very high. Higher than most people, actually. I’ve been asked why I waste my talents as a teacher and won’t choose a more profitable career. Every year, I consider leaving education and finding a higher-paying, less emotionally-draining profession. The summers off and “teachers hours” (a myth) just aren’t fulfilling anymore. What fulfills me (even though I complain about those little suckers ALL THE TIME) is that one day, one of my former students just might create the cure for cancer. I’d like to predict their futures and although it looks like some of them are destined to a life of failure, you never can tell. That one lesson I taught on Dr. Mae Jemison may inspire the 7-year-old girl with the 20-year-old mother to become an astronaut. Yeah, I laugh and joke about my job, complain about those terrible kids and their trifling mamas, and do cartwheels when the bell rings, but from 8:35am -2:45pm, I’m Ms. Fletcher, Superteacher Extraordinaire. For my first graders, I have all the answers and I hope they continue to believe that education is a road filled with even more answers.
I’ll admit it, I’m vain but my vanity stems from a self-confidence way too many of us lack. Not only do I know why I’m hot, I know why I’m NOT hot and I work on those things every day. I’ll probably never perfect my unhotness and even if I do, there will always be something else to correct. Do yourself a favor and while you’re working on the things that keep you from being hot, realize that you ARE hot. Find three things that aren’t based on how pretty you are (that’s too easy), stick out your chest and proclaim to yourself – and anyone within earshot – This is why I’M hot!!!
Holly Junior 