God Don’t Like Ugly…By Request

About a month ago, Christelyn Karazin asked me to contribute an essay to her No Wedding, No Womb blog blitz. I checked out her site and although marriage isn’t the answer in all cases, I agreed with her position that waiting until marriage to start a family is a best practice. I can say this because it is what I believe and I’ll be damned if anyone says I can’t believe what I want to. I also believe the Bears are the most awesomest football team in the NFL, win or lose, that men with beards are sexy as hell, and that deadbeat parents should be stripped naked and beaten with double dutch ropes. Since I was born in America to American parents and currently live in America, I can say AND believe WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!!!!! As a matter of fact, opponents of NWNW can say whatever the fuck they want as well. It’s their right, but just because you have a right to do something doesn’t make what you do right.

Freedom of Speech I’m free to say whatever I want, right? Well the next time I see a morbidly obese person walking down the street eating something he has no business eating…Krispy Kreme…I’m gonna yell “Hey Fat Ass, try a carrot instead!!” Or when one of my students gives an incorrect answer, I can say “What the hell is wrong with you, idiot?” Hurling unnecessary insults may be my inalienable right, but then so is a Neo Nazi calling me a nigger. Disagreeing with someone is okay, insulting them because you disagree is really juvenile.

Freedom of Assembly Let’s build a Mosque right across the street from the site where Islamic terrorists flew two airplanes into two heavily populated buildings killing thousands and changing America forever. For the record, I believe that it is their right to build a mosque on whatever street and in whatever neighborhood they choose to. I also believe that if the Ku Klux Klan wanted to have a rally in the middle of Englewood, South Central LA, or Harlem, it’s also their right as American citizens. They’re very stupid ideas, because they’re insensitive and yet, they’re very correct in the American sense of the word. Those 12 guys that hang on the corner yelling obscenities at everyone who passes by are exercising their right to assemble where they want, but who the hell wants to hear “Ay Shawtay!!!” every time they go to the corner store for a loose square?

Right to bear arms Once again, I’m about to go on the record for this one: Margaret Matthews deserves a medal of honor for shooting that BAK who terrorized her. As a matter of fact, she should have shot his mama, too….for real. The right to bear arms is the most legally infringed upon right in this country. Why can’t I bring my AK-47 to school with me? The Constitution says I can, but Chicago says I can’t. My right to carry an Uzi is superseded by others’ right to safety (which is not a right guaranteed by the Constitution I might add). Because we don’t want a bunch of Margaret Matthews out there rightfully shooting Bad Ass Kids, our right to bear arms is more of a symbolic right than anything else.

The Constitution guarantees us more freedoms than any other document has ever done, including the Emancipation Proclamation, but far too many people believe that because they have a right to say or do something trifling, they should do it. Common sense keeps most of us in check, however, there are those assholes who believe it’s ok to say or do whatever they want regardless of who they offend or hurt. Christelyn offered her opinion and a solution to a dangerous epidemic facing blacks in America, yet her efforts were met with insults about things that have little to do with the fact that black children are at a disadvantage because of fatherlessness. So you don’t agree with her solution, fine. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Neither is lactose, gluten, and bacon. But how productive is it to insult someone who obviously wants to impart change? Now had she told those who insulted her to go fuck themselves with a rusty nail, she’d be well within her rights, but she didn’t because God don’t like ugly.

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