Internationally Known

Dateline forgot to add one more statistic to the flaws of Black men.  Not only are they undereducated, incarcerated, undercover homosexuals with five baby mamas and seven kids.  They also have never traveled outside of the United States. I was unaware that the Bougie Black Folk Code of Conduct required that one must possess a passport and have used it for more than identification when their license was held in lieu of bond for that speeding ticket. I’m first generation Uppity, so perhaps my daughter will be better prepared to navigate through the unspoken rules of sadditiness. While I’m more than willing to abide by the BBFCC, I’m almost positive that the passport requirement is based on some pretty faulty logic. I tried to look at it objectively and I was still unable to make heads or tails of it. It’s not like BBFCC Article II that maintains that all members must possess at least a Bachelor’s degree from a non-online institute of higher learning. Nope, Article IX (Passportness) throws me off and I can’t shake the feeling that it is completely flawed.

The likelihood that the well-traveled man has assholish tendencies is much higher than the untraveled man being a close-minded fool who never wants to step foot off his block. MUCH higher. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna put this out there and venture that the well-traveled man might be the one who is less yielding. I’ve met quite a few men who have never left the United States and the vast majority of those men haven’t done so for many reasons, but few include: Fuck the rest of the world!! USA!! USA!!! Many men are interested in things that they can do and see right here at home, so they travel locally not because they’re ignorant about the rest of the world, it’s just that you can gamble AND see strippers in Vegas. This doesn’t mean they’re unwilling to travel outside of the states. They just haven’t. Now, the well-traveled brother who has skied in Switzerland and swam in the Mediterranean Sea just might think he’s too good for your Paris trip with your girlfriends. Or he might be an adventurous soul who expects you to spelunk with him…sorry…I don’t fuck with caves…and frowns upon your unwillingness to become one with the guano. So now here we are with a man who has circumvented the globe and poopoos on your trip to Amsterdam or the man who’s been to Vegas twice (and that’s it) who would love to chase you around the Great Pyramids of Giza. Are you willing to go to Walgreens with the guy who knows when to double down to take a couple of passport pictures or would you rather take your chances with Mr. Frequent Flyer Miles who opens your passport to page 11 and scoffs?

That was extreme, so I’ll be a little more realistic. Like you, he’s been to Europe, Africa, Asia, AND South America. Unlike you, he went to Lisbon with Lisa, made love to Lynette in Lagos, met Laura in Lijiang City, and came home from Lima with Linda. You went to Portugal, Nigeria, China, and Peru either alone or with your girlfriends. He’s gotten laid on every continent except Antarctica (February 2015 BITCH!!!!) so while you two may share travel destinations, do you really want what you have in common to include one of his exes? Shared experiences are awesome and all but I swear, if both of us went to Milan and I went with my bestie and he went with his ex-bitch, I really don’t wanna talk about it. I think I just might be ok with a man who ain’t never been nowhere, because I know when we touch down in Costa Rica, I’ll be the only person he’s touched down there. Owww!!!

I’m from the westside of Chicago – born and raised. I’ve lived here for 32 years and there are still things I haven’t experienced. There are 50 states in the union. I haven’t even been to half. There is so much to see here in these United States…the natural beauty of the Northwest, the glamorous life of LA and New York, the rich history of the original 13 colonies. The experiences and cultures of the citizens of ONE country vary so greatly, it’s like having 50 different countries in one place. Am I supposed to be impressed by a man who’s been to San Tropez but has never been to St. Louis? Hell, I know people in Chicago who have no clue that when Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr stayed in Chicago, he lived in the North Lawndale neighborhood, a place Bougie Black Folk are afraid to go (with good reason, but stop being a pussy). Four of Chicago’s most magnificent public parks – Garfield, Columbus, Humboldt, and Douglas – are ALL located on the westside and I’m supposed to be impressed that you’ve been to parks in Germany, but never set foot in the Garfield Park Conservatory? Maybe I’m just not bougie enough, but I’m not in awe of your world travels when you haven’t seen half of what your own city has to offer.

Perhaps I need to review my BBF handbook because there are things that I need to reevaluate about my Bougieness. Is world travel another device to separate the haves from the have nots…like going natural and dogging light skinned folks for not being black enough…cuz I’ll be damned if I grow out this perm. Some BBF spend so much time worrying about being brand name and proving themselves to no one in particular, they don’t pay much attention to how superficial they are and how little their requirements truly effect their lives. If you’re still stuck on that world-traveler, I know a man who’s been all over the world…he might embarrass you with his ignorance…but he’s been places!


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