99 Problems – Part 2

The continuation of my problems…20-40

21. I’m addicted to caramel macchiatos. $6 per cup habit.

22. I’m also addicted to Chipotle.

23. My un-laws are in utter denial about their overall worthlessness.


25. My daughter has to go to a neighborhood school.

26. My landlords put down this project ass floor in my apartment.

27. I don’t have a DVR and I have to wait to see this show on the Discovery Channel about the female orgasm.

28. Someone stole my new pair of Uggs out of my classroom.

29. I don’t wanna renew my lease but it’s over in February and I don’t wanna move in the dead of winter.

30. Every man that wants to date me is in the running for some sort of Asshole of the Millennium award.

31. I’m short and can’t reach things in my cabinets without a stool which always seems to be missing.

32. The temperature of the hot water in my apartment is set to Hades.

33. My daughter needs a sibling to play with.

34. I’ve already had to dip into my Niggas in Paris fund because *someone* needed $300 in dental work.

35. I can’t afford a MacBook…but since I suck with money, I’m probably gonna buy one anyway.

36. I hate washing dishes…or any other form of domestication…except cooking. I like to cook.

37. My daughter deserves a better father than the one I chose for her.

38. My hopes to be a housewife are slowly becoming nothing more than a fantasy.

39. Jacinda acts just like me, except the bad stuff is magnified by like, a million.

40. I never have a Friday night babysitter.

41. Every liquid known to man has been spilled on my once beautiful couch.

Stay tuned for 42-60….

That is all.


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