LOL or How You Almost Got Your Ass Kicked

Hold up, wait a minute! What did that bitch just say? What?!?!?! Oh wait, never mind, she typed LOL at the end so it was a joke. Whew!!! Relief!!! I thought I was gone have to kick her ass.

Digital conversations have led to the ridiculous idea that it’s ok to say whatever the hell you want so long as an LOL or LMAO is placed behind your triflingness. I’ve decided that I’m going to commence to ass kicking when someone decides to insult me and laugh out loud like the shit is funny. You weren’t joking and from now on, neither am I. I won’t physically fight you, but be prepared for a verbal tirade at which I will NOT be placing an LOL at the end. I’m through with the nonsense so here are your rules for LOL.

1. You can’t LOL your own comments. If it were funny enough to laugh out loud, then laughter will be heard. You are not a fucking comedian so why are you laughing at your own jokes? You know what kind of comedians do that? The unfunny ones. Here’s how it should go: You make witty remark. OTHER PEOPLE laugh.

2. If you’ve included an LOL so people will know you’re just joking, erase and start over. Something funny doesn’t need an “insert laugh here” card held up like you’re in the studio audience of a bad sitcom. Chances are you’re just being a snide ass bitch softening your bitchiness by calling it a feeble attempt at humor. I see through your treacherous ways you treacherous tramp! If it can’t stand alone as a joke without your LOL to aid in it’s funniness, it ain’t funny. Bitchy yes. Funny no.

3. Your public insults are a cry for help in dealing with your jealousy, insecurity, and low self of steam….sorry, couldn’t help it. If someone changes their relationship status to “in a relationship” and the only thing your tacky ass can say is “About time! LOL” you’re a jealous, insecure hater with low self-esteem. If someone posts a picture of herself with a new hairstyle and your comment is: “It’s cute! I remember when I had the same cut in high school. LOL”, chances are, you’re a jealous, insecure hater with low self-esteem. If your girl texts you to tell she got that  promotion and raise she was going for and you respond: Good. Now you can pay me back that $11 you owe me. LOL!!!, chances are: YOU’RE A JEALOUS, INSECURE HATER WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM!!!!!!

Next time you want to comment on something on facebook, reply to a text, or shoot off an email: check your funky ass LOLs at the door cuz wasn’t shit funny about what you said.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Tweets that mention LOL or How You Almost Got Your Ass Kicked « Uncommon Sense -- Topsy.com
  2. klkenned
    Oct 15, 2010 @ 15:29:19

    you know the anonymity of the internet makes people feel like they can say the kind of shit to you that, in real life, would get them slapped, kidding or not… Thank you for putting these LOLers on notice.

    Reply

  3. sunshine
    Oct 15, 2010 @ 20:44:30

    The treacherous tramp part was my absolute fav! I think we need to put that on our list right up under candy ass lames!

    I’m with you on this post though. People are always one step away from getting an eye shot w/that slick talk!

    Reply

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