Can I Buy You a Drink?

As we all know, the next lines to that song are: “I’ma take you home wit me.  I got money in the bank.”

What used to be a pretty effective pick-up line/conversation starter/ice breaker has turned into a topic of deep discussion.  Apparently, there are some unwritten rules to the purchase and consumption of an alcoholic beverage while in the company of other single individuals listening and/or dancing to loud music.

I’ve been on this earth for almost 31 years and have been drinking legally in public establishments for almost 10 years.  In the course of those ten years, Drinks have been purchased for me by men and women of all races, ages, sizes, and occupations for numerous reasons.  I had a conversation with a few gentlemen who were of the opinion that there is only one reason to purchase a woman a drink and if said woman accepts said drink, she is under certain obligations.  One even went so far as to call the purchase of vodka and tonic a “conditional gift” and suggested that if a woman is not interested she should politely decline.

As a fairly attractive woman, I have been on the receiving end of quite a few free drinks.  As a matter of fact, when I was a young, broke, hot girl, I would leave home with enough money for my cover and one drink and go home quite drunk (and alone).  As a mature, less broke 30 year old, I can afford my own good time, but that doesn’t mean the offers for booze have declined.  I recently went bowling with a couple of lady friends who went shopping while I waited on our lane.  They came back to find me enjoying a glass of Riesling, courtesy of David, a random man out with his friends who thought I looked groovy in my bowling shoes.  He never asked for my number and didn’t seem the least bit upset that I didn’t offer.

On Cinco de Mayo this year, I was playing on my Blackberry at the bar of a cute little Mexican restaurant and an older gentleman asked how much I knew about Blackberry apps because he wasn’t getting his emails and couldn’t stand not being able to work from home.  I quickly validated his email and he bought both my drink and my late-arriving best friend’s as a thank you.  Did  I mention he owned the restaurant and came over to our table only once to check on our meal?   He had absolutely zero expectations, only to express his appreciation for not having to go into the office.

I could go on and on about men – and women – who have purchased my drink, but that isn’t my point.  There ARE men who feel entitled to some type of compensation after they buy a woman a drink.  I asked a few guys and most of them only expect a thank you and nothing more.  Yet, with all of the men who are only making sure I don’t die of thirst in a hot ass club, there are some who would rather die before they spend their hard earned $10 (broke asses) or waste their time (boring, arrogant asses) trying to buy some broad at the club a drink.  Even worse are the men who feel entitled to monopolize my entire evening because they’ve bought me a drink (and then had the nerve to make a smart ass comment when I asked for Grey Goose La Poire instead of Absolut Pear).  These are the guys that follow me around or call my phone as soon as I give them my number (no more 777-9311).  These are the guys that ask you stupid ass questions like, “So, why do you like football?” or “Are you gonna get a promotion and teach high school?” or “Why you and yo baby daddy break up?” or my favorite, “When you gone let me see you again?”.  It becomes quite obvious that the ability to purchase a drink is this guy’s most redeeming quality.

There are some women who take advantage of some guys generosity.  The chicks who have guys buy drinks for other people (guilty), split as soon as the bartender finishes pouring (guilty) or aren’t even single (guilty).  Shit happens.

A word of advice for men who aren’t sure what they’re dealing with: Find a new pick-up line.  “Can I buy you a drink?”  doesn’t work anymore.  It causes confusion if he’s looking for that special someone (at the club) and she’s looking to drink and have a good time (at the club).  Try, “What brings you out tonight?”.  Grown-ups generally go out for an occasion, not because it’s Tuesday (The Buzz, 2002) and after you have a good conversation going, say, “You must be thirsty, I’m sorry, can I get you a refill?”

And as for men who are just being generous, keep on buying.  Chicks like me LOVE to return the favor.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Tweets that mention Can I Buy You a Drink? « Cindasmommy's Blog --
  2. Shaqadocious
    May 21, 2010 @ 21:21:30

    YES! I love this! This needs to be shared with loser menfolk everywhere. They should definitely consider getting some game or investing in being interesting if they want to move toward sex.


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